As I sat in my clinic late evening, I see a 40-year-old lady, an athletic tall built, had her hair unkempt and looking dismissed. She spoke in a sublime tone trying to seek answers in the course of her treatment. She was detected with breast cancer recently, underwent bilateral breast removal (as the tumor was spread in both breasts), with chemotherapy and radiation therapy thereafter. She was referred to me for removal of her ovaries as her breast cancer was hormone receptor positive.
On asking about her journey, she seemed to have taken it well so far despite the adversities faced and seemed to have accepted her new identity. There was a homeostasis until now, when her medical oncologist asked for her ovarian removal in order to reduce chances of her breast cancer recurrence. The decision is one of necessity for her now. We discuss the technicalities of the surgical procedure for the next fifteen minutes. Once I’m done explaining the process to her, she quivers, takes a deep breath and asks – “will I cease being a woman now? my breasts are out and you’d take out my ovaries too.”
“Well there would be lags, in your ability to reproduce, having estrogens and the change in physical appearance due to the lack of breasts, all of which does constitute in essence being a woman. “I told her sheepishly “Yet”, I started to regain the composure in my voice, “each cell of your body is an XX and screams you’re a woman!”
She seemed just a shade more convinced, or maybe not I’m not sure, still unhappy about the prospects of this surgery. It’s a checkmate situation, one just has to get it done knowing that the aftermath of this procedure will be a profound sense of loss for her. The loss is not a mere physical appearance but a loss of perceived identity which is often intertwined with what society constructs as womanhood.
This made me think deeper about this aspect of what makes a woman one. The essence of womanhood transcends the confines of the body. Such situations lead to introspection and resilience (which is something women are built to undergo every month), to redefine womanhood in their own terms authentically by reclaiming their sense of self.
While it sounds cliché but celebrating scars as symbols of strength, leads to not just a self-acceptance and empowerment, but also a society that is inclusive and compassionate where different individuals are going through a battle, that is unique to them.